What style of therapy might work for you?
Counselors and therapists use different theories and techniques. What might be the right one for you? If you'd had experience with therapy, you already know what you liked and didn't like about that experience. And it's okay if you have no idea! Either way, here are some questions that might help you and your potential counselor decide whether their approach is one you'd like to try. Do you want help discovering the underlying roots of your behaviors and beliefs, or are you more interested in solutions for a particular problem at hand? How have you successfully changed or solved problems in the past? What is your learning style? A visual learner might get good results an art therapist, for example. What do you enjoy doing? If you enjoy dancing, a therapist who does movement work might work well for you, but if you hate movement, you might prefer a therapist who focuses on talk. Are you looking for someone who is more of an expert, mirror, teacher, or friend? There is no one right answer to these questions; what are the right answers for you? Coming to your first session with some of these answers will help you and your potential therapist decide whether hir approach is compatible with your needs.
Know what you want to work on.
An initial interview with a therapist is a lot like a job interview, and *you* are the one hiring. You are responsible for bringing the therapist a "job description". In other words, what are your reasons for coming to therapy? What do you hope to accomplish? You don't need to go into depth at this time; a quick description of what you'd like to be different at the end of the process will be helpful to both of you in deciding whether you're compatible.
Ask questions.
Find out what you can ahead of time so you know some of the questions you want to ask. A good counselor will be ready to talk to you about how they work, what kind of training they have, and anything else you need to know as you get started (like fees, cancellation policies, confidentiality, etc.). Feel free to ask any questions you have about what zie is telling you or what you read in the informed consent document. If you are confused or uncomfortable about something, your therapist can explain it further. You are entering into an agreement, and it is important that you understand and consent to that agreement. If you disagree with any aspect of the agreement, talk to your therapist about it. Some aspects might be negotiable. If something very important to you is not negotiable for that therapist, you may be able to find a therapist who can be more flexible on the matter. However, it is important to keep in mind that some things, like the legal limitations to confidentiality, for example, will be the same across all professionals because they are bound by legal and ethical codes.
Be ready to collaborate.
It is not a counselor's job to fix you or give you advice. No one else can change you; you have to be part of the process. Zie is not a mind reader. If there's something you need your counselor to know, it's better to bring it up as soon as you feel comfortable. And tell your therapist if something doesn't feel right. Practicing good communication and boundaries with your therapist can be good practice for your other relationships.
Trust the process.
Study after study reports that a high quality relationship between a client and their therapist leads to positive outcomes. (Flückiger, et. al. 2012) Once you find the right therapist for you, take some time to allow the relationship to build. As your trust and openness grows, your work together will help you grow and find the change you seek.
Good luck! And have fun!
Citation
How central is the alliance in psychotherapy? A multilevel longitudinal meta-analysis.
Flückiger, Christoph; Del Re, A. C.; Wampold, Bruce E.; Symonds, Dianne; Horvath, Adam O.
Journal of Counseling Psychology, Vol 59(1), Jan 2012, 10-17.
doi:
10.1037/a0025749
