The Spoon Theory

But You Don't Look Sick is a site for people with invisible disabilities. In their words: "The mission of ButYouDontLookSick.com is to help everyone with a chronic illness or invisible disability, in order for them to live their lives to the fullest and not feel isolated and alone. We believe that our medical circumstances have put us in a unique and understanding position, so that we can help each other through similar difficult times. We hope the information and community on our site can aid people in leading better lives through knowledge, networking, friendship and most of all support."

My favorite page on But You Don't Look Sick describes "The Spoon Theory", a useful metaphor for how it can feel to live with the reduced energy capacity that can come from a chronic illness or disability. I believe this idea might be useful to anyone who may need to pay close attention to their stimulation levels such as Highly Sensitive Persons, people with autism, people with Asperger's Syndrome, or people with ADHD.

The Spoon Theory uses spoons to represent energy. We each get a limited allotment of spoons each day. When we use all of our spoons, our choice is to rest or take spoons from the next day. If we decide to take spoons from the next day, we will have fewer spoons to use tomorrow. This means we need to budget our "spoons" just like we might budget money or any other limited resource. This can be very useful for planning and prioritizing activities.

Here's an example of how I could use this idea to describe planning my day. Let's say I normally have 20 spoons per day. Taking the bus usually uses 2 spoons per trip, getting ready in the morning uses 1 spoon, and meals use 2 spoons per meal. (2 x 2 bus spoons) + 1 getting ready spoon + (3 x 2 meal spoons) = 11 spoons So, on any given day, I am likely to use at least 11 spoons. When I go to a street fair, I use 15 spoons for the fair in addition to 11 spoons I use every day. When I chose to go to a street fair on Saturday, I used at least 26 spoons. I had to borrow from the next day, so I only have 14 spoons for Sunday. If my friend invites me to go hiking Sunday (6 spoons), should I do it? Probably not, because I am likely to use at least 17 spoons, and I only have 14! I don't want to use spoons from Monday because I'm going to need all 20 spoons to work on Monday.

Another way to use the spoon theory is for prioritizing activities. I'll continue with the previous example. The Sunday after the street fair, I have 14 spoons. Hiking would take too many spoons, so I've chosen not to go. Can spend some time with my friend without taking spoons from the Monday? Yes! I can choose to spend fewer spoons with my friend. If my friend comes over, I don't have to take the bus, so I save 4 spoons! That means I'll only need 7 spoons for the rest of my necessary tasks. If my friend and I order take out, I could save 1 more spoon because take out uses 1 spoon instead of the 2 spoons it takes to cook. I'll still need to use 6 spoons for my day. There are plenty of fun things my friend and I could do with the remaining 8 spoons. The day is saved!

I can also plan ahead to save spoons for things I want to do in the future. I know that doing laundry uses a lot of my spoons. Going on a date also uses many spoons. This means I'd much less likely to choose to do laundry on a day that I have a date so I can save my spoons for what is more important to me. How do you prefer to use your spoons?

I find this metaphor most useful when I need to explain to others that I need to budget my energy like some people budget money or time. How is this idea useful for you?